Pranksters come out of the woodwork on April 1, and Rob Ivy (view his Valley News archive) is no exception. The perennially smiling author of the Essex Column opted to jump the gun rather than miss the opportunity to trick Essex, NY residents and visitors for April Fool’s Day.

I’m especially fond of Dr. C. Horridus, the fictional chair of SUNY Plattsburgh’s [most likely also fictional] herpetology department!

Did you miss it?

2013 Timber Rattlesnake Population Increase

Last summer’s mild weather greatly increased the local white-footed gopher population, which is the favorite food of Essex’s timber rattlesnakes. The chairman of Plattsburgh State’s herpetology department, Dr. C. Horridus, is predicting an explosion of rattlers this year. Although they don’t appear until the weather warms up, be on the lookout for these poisonous natives. And remember that even the small juveniles can give a lethal bite.(Essex Column)

White-footed gopher? Hmmm… I suspect it’s one of the lesser know Adirondack species. Less familiar than the Albany gophers who might in fact be partly responsible for another critical news update from Rob Ivy.

Rob Ivy Announces Town of Essex Dissolution

Efforts in Albany to dissolve the Town of Essex are bearing fruit. Governor Cuomo’s initiative to consolidate towns and school districts will eliminate places like Essex and Westport with declining populations and few prospects for future growth. In an unusual and lucrative arrangement, the hamlet was sold off and will become part of Chittenden County, Vermont. The hamlet will be renamed and as part of Vermont will be referred to as a village. Names under consideration are Charlotte West and Deanstown (in honor of former governor Howard Dean). Hamlet residents will be given a year to get green license plates and register to vote in one of Vermont’s 16 political parties. As new Vermonters, hamlet residents will enjoy much lower in-state tuition at UVM and a reduced sales tax rate, although to demonstrate allegiance to their new state, they will be required to learn the state song. Whallonsburg will become the seat of government for the rest of Essex, the northern half of Westport and the outlying sections of Lewis and Willsboro. (Essex Column)

Thank you, Rob Ivy, for leavening the weekly Essex Column. April fools!

Related articles

• Essex-Charlotte Ferry: Early Spring Schedule (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)
• Summer Restaurant to Open at Essex Shipyard (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)
• Farm Store Essex Update (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)
• The Dower House (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)
• Former Essex Baptist Church & Masonic Lodge (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)
• St. Joseph’s Catholic Church (www.essexonlakechamplain.com)